


sakura kiss

by Ro (jjaero)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (but KuroTsukki breaks up, Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Dreams, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Hinata Natsu is an Angel, Hinata Shouyou & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, KageHina - Freeform, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Masturbation, Memories, One-Sided Relationship, One-Sided Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Repressed Memories, Starts off as a chat fic, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, god i suck at smut, kurotsukki - Freeform, lots and lots of drama, s u c k ahah, sorry y'all), tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-01 12:49:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10922151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjaero/pseuds/Ro
Summary: "and we'll always... fall in love...again."♡ yamaguchi tadashi is in love with tsukishima kei. too bad that he doesn't, love him back though ♡prompt: Hanahaki Disease (n.) a disease where you cough up flowers when your love is unrequited. this can be surgically removed, but the feelings don't go with them.





	1. Pleased Moans and Painful Groans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Potato_man](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potato_man/gifts).



> yo yo people of ao3
> 
> are you ready for some sicc beats? go on, take your seats. make sure you don't eat lots of meats. tears will leak,,,,
> 
> out of your eyes. "i swear this'll be happy" LIES. i'll make you cry, but dw i'll bake you pies. mice. lice. 
> 
> i just hit myself thrice 
> 
> oh and 
> 
> sad.........masturbation,,,, ig
> 
> will update every friday or saturday
> 
> (actual a/n: i can't BELIEVE i used such a happy song as inspiration,,, song: sakura kiss aka ouran highschool host club's theme song)

 

 

 

> _**"Beds of spring flowers,  
>  Mingling colors, fragrance.  
>  Transplanted beauties."** _
> 
> ** ♡  ♡  ♡ **

**YAMAGUCHI ABSOLUTELY ADORED**   **FLOWERS.** The way they bloomed and actually gave _life_ to the dull green grass around him. Flowers were perfect, for him, it symbolized life. It symbolized _color_ and _new hope._ When it rains, flowers tend to grow, right? For Yamaguchi, it just means _yeah, it might be gloomy **now,** but it'll be so much better when it ends. _

Flowers were a poetry of reproduction. They are an example of the never-ending seductiveness of life.

 ** ♡ ** ** ♡  ** ** ♡ 2nd year of high school ♡ **♡** **♡**  
**

_ "Yamaguchi, oh my God, Yamaguchi!" a terrified scream came out of Hinata Shouyou's lips. His teammate was coughing up flower petals, and he wouldn't stop. He sat beside him quickly and let him cough it all out. This was terrible. Who would reject Yamaguchi? An evil person, perhaps? Tadashi was an amazing human being, liked by everyone in the school. Oh, how lucky would that person be? Tadashi, in love with them.  
_

_ It was unfair, life was unfair. _

_ The green-haired youth's eyes were covered with tears. It was painful for Shouyou to look at, his friend, unrequited love. The only thing he could do was just sit there, let him cough it all up. It took him about forty minutes to stop.  _

_ Those teary eyes looked at Shouyou's brown ones. Yamaguchi squeezed him into a tight hug, sobbing uncontrollably.  _

_ "Unfair, everything's so unfair, Hinata..." he cried softly, his ears tinted pink. Well, not only his ears.  _

_ His eyes were puffy from crying, naturally. Hinata tried his very best to comfort him. He was scared, you know? He wanted to make the most out of this. There's a huge chance that... _

_ That... _

_ That he'll die. _

_ Shouyou couldn't take it anymore, his tears formed instantly when he thought about it. Who was going to be there for him? Will he lose the ray of freckled, pastel sunshine who brightens up the team? Will he lose the person who had amazing talent? _

_ He couldn't let that happen. No, he couldn't.  _

_ "Yamaguchi, everything's going to be fine." _

_ Silence filled the enormous gymnasium.  _

_ Yamaguchi let go of the tight embrace.  _

_ "I don't know anymore, Hinata..." _

** ♡ ♡ ♡ a year later ♡ **♡** **♡**  
**

 Yamaguchi woke up quickly. That memory still haunted him. That memory was the worst one he had. It perfectly summed up everything that was going on right now, _and he hated it with a passion._

That memory... was when he found out that Tsukishima Kei didn't love him back.  


It was painful, naturally. His stomach would churn when he thought about it. His eyes would quickly form teardrops involuntarily. He would cough up flowers. He hated everything. Why can't he just forget about this whole issue and move on with his life?

Tsukishima Kei loved Kuroo Tetsurou and as their friends, he should support them wholeheartedly. 

But, since, _you know,_ he _doesn't._

He reached out for his smartphone and typed the passcode quickly.  


**♡** _Tsukki_ **♡** _(2)_  


_Hinata (99+)_

Yamaguchi tapped on Tsukishima's messages, wonder what they were.  


_ I love you. _

His heart... didn't even react. He knew-  


_ Sorry, Yamaguchi. That was for Kuroo... _ ♡

How dare he send a heart? God, it's annoying. He's annoying. Everything's annoying. Tsukishima can suck a dick and choke on it.

He didn't mean that, though. Even if he cursed him every single night when his head hits the pillow, he didn't mean anything. He still loved him with his heart.

How did he even send the wrong message?

Yamaguchi tried his best to crack a smile, but he couldn't. Why'd he even try?

_ Lol. **Y** amaguchi. **K** uroo. How did you send that to me? _

An instant reply, as expected from Tsukishima.  


_**B** oyfriend_ _. **B** est Friend. Sorry again.  
_

Right, he was just his best friend. 

He looked at what Hinata's messages were, it was a bunch of commentary on what anime he was watching with Kageyama.  


kageyama is drunk,,, send help, okay but kageyama and i are watching JoJo now and he keeps laughing at Dio's hair???? what??  
  
He chuckled at his little messages, Yamaguchi actually smiled when he read through them. Both Hinata and Kageyama never failed to make him smile, even if it was six A.M with a flower-vomiting disease. They were his amazing friends, and he thanks the lord that he had these two by his side, all the time.

"'Dashi! It's time for breakfast!" a muffled yell came from outside. Probably his sister.

The boy with honey-hued eyes looked down and saw a bulge in his pants. _God damn it._ Another cold shower for him, then. This has been happening recently, which is... quite odd.

He let out a groan. "I have to take a shower, Yuki! Go ahead, eat!" he replied loudly. Standing up, he grabbed the towel that was on a wooden hanger. He knew it was dirty, but he was too tired and depressed to _actually_ clean it up, y'know?

Last year, Yamaguchi Tadashi was diagnosed with depression _and_ the infamous Hanahaki Disease. Depression was pretty common, he's not the only one who was diagnosed with it together with Hanahaki. It sucked a lot, though. He was sad and gloomy, not the usual Tadashi who was committed to volleyball and to Tsukishima.

Instead, he turned into an emotionless (yet emotional) person who wasn't as committed to the things he loved. Tsukishima and volleyball, for example. He has completely given up on life, he had no will and drive to live.

It sucked, having both terrible illnesses. He couldn't help himself. Not that he wanted to or had to, anyways.

The green-haired lad made his way to his spacious bathroom. He hanged his towel and started to strip. His member hardening rapidly. He sighed, he was too tired to jack off. He had to, though. Yamaguchi tried to remember what the doctor said.

_"Well, when you have this illness... you're more likely to... um... have erections and sexual urges, so be careful. No one night stands too, it'll worsen your condition, unrequited love is enough. An unhealthy coping mechanism is more than enough."_

Oh, that's what he said.

It _is_ true that he's a lot more horny than usual, but he didn't remember why he was experiencing this. But he remembers now, and it kind-of makes sense now.

He stepped in and turned on the faucet to _very cold._ He needed this.

Tadashi closed his eyes, eyelashes fluttering. He wrapped his right hand around his cock, pumping it slowly. He was thinking about a lot of stuff, actually. From porn videos he's watched to fantasies of his own. His thoughts came all at once, he never really had a particular thing to think about while jacking off. It was random, but somehow...

All he was thinking about was Tsukishima.

Those porn videos he watched? He imagined that those two were him and his best friend. His fantasies? Instead of a smoking guy with a ripped body, it was just... Tsukki.

And he hated that.

His pace quickened, pre-cum leaking on his tip. It wasn't good enough. No, it wasn't. It wasn't even _good_ for starters.

 _Tsukki, Tsukki, Tsukki..._ he thought to himself. He opened his mouth, saliva dripping down his lower lip. The cold liquid ran down his back, then into his ass, stimulating him a bit. He has never felt so much pleasure, did he really need to think about the blond while masturbating? It hurt. It hurt him. This was enjoyable, but at the same time...

_It hurt._

" _A_ h _n-_ Tsukki...  _f-fuck..._ " Lewd moans and wet words came out of his mouth. These erotic sounds filling the bathroom. Thank god for his amazingly thick walls. Nobody would hear him, right?

Tsukishima, in his fantasies, was a different person. He was wild, but caring, and most importantly... He was dating Yamaguchi, duh. The thought of that made his heart ache. He shouldn't be doing this _at all_ , but he couldn't stop. It felt too good.

Confusion, pain, and pleasure mixed. His moans said he was enjoying this, his words said he was enjoying this, his heart said this was painful. Absolutely painful. Tears leaked out of his eyes, the salty liquid mixing in with his saliva. He started to finger himself, too. He needed _him_ , he needed _all of him._

Too bad somebody else needed him, too.


	2. Infatuated, Not In Love | part one of two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima's situation? He was infatuated.
> 
> Infatuated, not in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of a warning, guys.
> 
> The future chapters will mention SOMEONE'S unhealthy coping mechanism, the only person who knows about the plot I am currently building is the person who I gifted this to. 
> 
> So, I'll let you know. If you do not like themes of unhealthy relationships and such, please don't read this. I mean, it's bad, but it's not TOO bad. 
> 
> No abuse, or anything. Just a lot of sadness and crying. If you are easily triggered with the things I mentioned, I HIGHLY REQUEST THAT YOU DON'T READ THIS. If you want to stay for the happy ending, well... it'll be a bumpy ride.
> 
> more notes::
> 
> Also, please learn the difference between infatuation and being in love. Infatuation is merely an intense, yet short-lived admiration for someone or something. While being in love is... a variety of feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection to pleasure. But it is commonly used to refer an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment. 
> 
> See? Infatuation isn't necessarily unhealthy, it's your choice if you want it to be unhealthy, I guess? 
> 
> Just... guys... don't get into a relationship with a person you're INFATUATED with, get into a relationship where both of you love each other. Okay? Yeah.
> 
> I'm not really supposed to say this because I have no experience about unhealthy relationships whatsoever, but I am merely pointing out the obvious. Unhealthy relationships are bad. Don't get into them, as I've mentioned before.
> 
> Okay, that's it. 
> 
> (this wa s the longest author's notes i've done)

 

>   _ **"If you don't know what is this difference between  
>  infatuation and love,  
>  you'll destroy others' lives and your own."** _

 

** ♡  ♡  ♡ **

**TSUKISHIMA KEI'S SITUATION WAS TOUGH. VERY TOUGH.** At first, he denied it. He didn't like him. No, that's not the case. Look at his stupid hair, his stupid smile. Everything about him is just stupid. But, he couldn't resist his powerful charm. And he denied it even more. Every day his head was just filled with scenarios he would want to be in with _him_.

 

Who was he?

Kuroo Tetsurou, obviously.

Ever since that godforsaken training camp, he has held this abnormal admiration for him. Where every second his body ached for him. His stomach churned when he looks at Kuroo's Snapchat stories, him hanging out with Kenma, acting very flirtatious and lovey-dovey. His head would spin on just the mere thought of him and Kuroo together. It was driving him insane.

Some might call it _infatuation._

Yamaguchi Tadashi was also another important person in his life, but every millisecond he was straying further away from him. He was turning into a major asshole, but it wasn't his goddamn fault, alright?! That damn Kuroo just had to be _so_ perfect and good at the things he did.

Then, he learned to accept it.

One day, when their team was visiting Nekoma **(they're now second years)** and Tsukishima came across a lifeless Kuroo. It pained him, really. The once happy guy from the Nekoma team was just sat there, lonely and dull. His eyes were empty, and Tsukishima just wanted to make him feel better.

They talked a lot. He managed to make the ravenette smile, which was great. Seeing his lips twitch made the entire training camp _worth it_. Apparently, he was here to help their coach and adviser. Even help out some of the players. When he mentioned Kenma, the blond didn't feel at ease. He was uncomfortable. But, Tetsurou seemed to notice and stopped talking about him.

Both of them clicked so well, and Kei realized how much he liked this guy. All over again. Then he asked _that_ question.

_"Um... Kuroo-senpai..."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Will... you go out with me?"_

_The only thing that could be heard was silence, his ears were muted, Kuroo's expression was unreadable. He's done for, Tsukishima Kei's life is over -!_

_"Yeah, of course," he planted a smile on his lips, instantly calming Tsukishima down._

Then he got what he wanted. He wanted Kuroo Tetsurou. Why?

Because he was infatuated with him.

**part one of two**


	3. I Don't Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo's side of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> w a r n i n g : unhealthy coping mechanisms

**"I DON'T LOVE YOU,"**

Kuroo has always said that to himself every time he was in a relationship. At the moment, he's currently with the second year middle blocker of Karasuno High School, Tsukishima Kei.

It seemed like they were the perfect couple; cute age gap, senpai-kouhai relationship (in a way), the 'our-love-is-stronger-because-we're-apart' cliche. They were perfect. Ideal? Maybe.

No, not maybe.

They weren't ideal _at all._

Kuroo, who was diagnosed with the world-famous Hanahaki Disease, the illness that makes you cough up flowers - specifically sakura petals - if your love is unrequited. You can surgically remove this, but the feelings don't go with them, naturally. The college student suffered at a fresh, young age of fifteen.

Cause? Kenma Kozume, third year, captain and setter for Team Nekoma in Tokyo.

Back when Kuroo was fifteen and Kenma was fourteen, the setter had got his very first _boy_ friend, who was somebody from another school. He hated the thought of the blond holding hands with someone, kissing them, doing romantic things. Kuroo thought he had a chance, being the "one and only" for the younger male. But, no. 

He started being incredibly depressed and soon enough, started coughing out sakura petals. It was beautiful, the flowers. But flowers die, and so did Kuroo. 

Whenever he looked at Kenma, all he thought about was death and sadness. He felt like he wasn't good enough for Kenma. He hated breathing. He hated waking up. 

Being alive. He hated being alive. 

Kuroo never let the setter know about this. Luckily enough, the older male was wealthy, and begged his father for a transplant. His dad obviously disagreed. He didn't want his son's condition to worsen. That's what happens, you know. 

If you're going to get a Hanahaki removal transplant, it removes all happiness in you. You can take happy pills, pills that make you joyous for an amount of time. 

Finally, he got his father to agree. It was tough for Kuroo and his family. And again, Kenma didn't know about anything. While he was in that hospital bed, he felt all the joy being sucked out of him. Physically. His heart ached, his brain bugged. He felt all of this while being unconscious. 

The transplant was done, and he felt lifeless. Even worse than before. 

Volleyball couldn't cheer him up, Kenma couldn't cheer him up. Nothing could ever cheer him up. 

He dated so many people, fucked around with them. No one could fill the empty hole in his life. 

Tsukishima Kei has been pining over him for a long time, asked Kuroo out. He didn't have anything to do, so, he accepted. 

But Tsukishima was different. The other people  _loved_ Kuroo. The blond was  _infatuated_ with him. It wasn't love, it was  _obsession._ It felt wrong, bad. It was the same with the ravenette too. He... didn't love Tsukishima. No matter how much both of them say it. 

Both of them were broken, but unlike the other people, they weren't fixing themselves. 

They were breaking themselves even more. 


End file.
